Codependency is a form of addiction and is in fact, the underlying root cause of ALL addictions and it begins in childhood due to trauma and neglect whether that be emotional, physical, or psychological. Recovery from codependency is difficult and has been my struggle for the last three years. It isn’t something that happens overnight or anything we just “get over” it’s deeply ingrained in our sense of self as children and we are essentially attempting to rebuild ourselves from the ground up starting with the wounded & lost inner child. This healing is different for everyone and can be dependant on both the severity or types of traumas, time spent in abusive relationships, the person’s emotional sensitivity, intelligence, and personality type all play a role. There is no set formula or time length for recovery. We all are unique and recovery will also be unique to us. Making comparisons is useless and self-defeating. I think of my recovery and healing as a spiral dance, sometimes I go where I have already been but it’s for a purpose, some truth or path needs deeper foundations.
Sometimes I feel like its impossible (cptsd doesn’t help) and I want to give up but I hate believing I can’t do whatever I put my mind to. Some of the keys to recovery are:
1.Authenticity
2.Autonomy
3.Capability of being intimate
4.Integrated and congruent values, thoughts, feelings, and actions
Codependents have a tendency to self abandon their feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, intuition, and beliefs in relationships. This is why codependents make valuable & dependable sources of supply to the narcissist.
The first step toward recovery is acknowledging your feelings, needs, thoughts, intuition, and desires matter!! Even if they don’t matter to anyone else, believe they matter because you say so! They matter to you and that is most important.
Self-validation is key. And you are worthy!
